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   All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance
   All my life I wanted to be someone--I guess I should have been more specific
   All right, no more Mr. Nice Pope!
   All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative
   Almost Conscious
   And what do I look like--the living?
   Anti-paranoia is that eerie feeling that nothing is connected to anything else
   Anything purple is mine
   Anything purple is mine.  Anything else can be dyed or painted.
   Are we having fun yet?
   Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?
   Armed and dangerous, but I forgot where I put it
   Ask me about my dysfunctional family
   Be nice to me--I'm out of Valium
   Being a model means wearing clothes and not eating.  I'd rather eat and take off my clothes.
   Better dead than mellow
   Brain on vacation, body on autopilot
   Built for comfort, not for speed
   But if I learn from my mistakes, it'll take the fun out of making them again
   Butch Nerd--soft body, hard mind
   By God, for a moment there it all made sense...
   Carpe Noctem Seize the night I do more work after 2AM than most people do all day
   Caution: Contents under pressure
   Caution: Hungry Dieter--May bite if provoked
   Caution--I was not hired for my disposition
   Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
   Coffee is my only REAL friend
   Crampy Diem seize the Midol
   Crankiness....for me it's just as natural as morning
   Damn I'm good
   Deja Who?: The feeling that you've forgotten that face before
   Delight and amaze me!
   Do not disturb.  I had a hard enough time getting turbed in the first place
   Do what comes naturally. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
   Does anyone have any questions?  Any answers?  Anyone care for a mint?
   Don't ask me--I have intermittent memory loss
   Don't blame me--I was raised by humans
   Don't give me that kinkier-than-thou attitude
   Don't tell me not to burn my candle at both ends--just tell me where to get more wax!
   Dragon Obedience School Dropout
   Dull is fine.  I LIKE dull.  I could use a little dull in my life.
   Engaged in the passive overthrow of the U.S. government
   Even if I'm not asleep, that doesn't mean I'm awake
   Evolution sounds ok, but I'd rather keep my options open
   Freedom of speech is wonderful--right up there with the freedom not to listen
   Give me levity or give me death
   Good leaders are scarce, so I am following myself
   Growing old is mandatory--growing up is optional
   grumble grumble growl hiss bitch whine piss moan
   Half of what I know today will be obsolete in five years--I'd just like to know which half
   Hard work may not kill me, but why take chances?
   Have an adequate day
   He who obeys...sometimes
   Hedonist for Hire--No job too easy
   The hell with criticism--praise is good enough for me
   Hi!  I can't remember your name either
   Human beings don't live like this
   Humor Me
   I am an intellectual (I think)
   I am not a happy camper
   I am not a minority. I am an outnumbered majority.
   I am not a target audiance
   I am very flexible--I can put both feet in my mouth
   I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day.
   I can stand anything but a succession of ordinary days
   I can't grow up--I'm too old
   I didn't know it was impossible when I did it
   I do the work of three men--Larry, Moe, and Curly
   I don't care if I'm a lemming, I'm still not going
   I don't care what dark matter is--just so it isn't SPIDERS
   I don't have any solutions, but I certainly admire the problem
   I don't have burnout, but I'm slightly singed
   I don't know and I don't care--that's why they put me in charge
   I don't know.  I don't know.  I just don't know.
   I don't like spreading rumors, but what else can you do with them?
   I don't mean to make you feel guilty, but I would if I could
   I don't miss deadlines, I ignore them
   I don't suffer from insanity--I revel in it!
   I don't want constructive criticism.  It's all I can do to put up with constructive praise
   I don't want to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I could read with pleasure
   I finally got it all together--but then I forgot where I put it
   I got a life, but it won't run on my operating system
   I hate being cheered up.  It's depressing.
   I have a mind like a steel sieve
   I have a talent for idleness which is tragically wasted by my working here
   I have bungee fever and there's only one cure....BOING....
   I have no use for adventures--they're nasty disturbing uncomfortable things and make you late for dinner!
   I have not lost my mind--I know exactly where I left it
   I have partaken of the Great Banquet of Life.  What I need now is the Great Alka-Seltzer of Life.
   I have PMS and a gun.  Care to comment?
   I haven't killed anyone yet.  Help me keep it that way.
   I just know I was meant to be born rich--somebody up there must have fouled up the paperwork
   I knew I had some reason for not killing you...Now what was it?
   I know I'm a sick person--the question is whether it's charming or offensive
   I know that every time one door closes, another door opens, but why do these hallways have to be so dark?
   I like life--it's something to do
   I loathe anyone who keeps dogs.  They're cowards who don't have the courage to bite people themselves.
   I may rise, but I refuse to shine
   I open minds.  What do you do?
   I pray for boredom but it never comes
   I try to see good in everything--it makes me horrible to live with
   I used to be amused--now I'm just bored
   I used to be disgusted--now I'm just amused
   I used to get high on life, but I've built up a tolerance
   I want a map of this conversation
   I will continue to be an impossible person as long as those who are now possible remain possible
   I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.  There's one called "brightness," but it doesn't work.
   I won't ever grow up. My biological clock has a snooze alarm.
   I wore black BEFORE it was cool
   I wore black until it was cool
   I wouldn't take a million dollars for any of my kids, but I wouldn't pay a dime for another one
   I'd love to make up my mind, but I can't remember where I left it
   If anyone disagrees with anything I've said, I'll not only retract it, I'll swear under oath that I've never said it
   If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport
   If we're so smart and so creative, why aren't we happier than they are?
   If you don't grow up by age 35, you don't have to
   If you haven't grown up by age 60, you don't have to
   If you think I need to be saved from myself, I probably need to be saved from you
   I'll get a life when someone convinces me that it would be better than what I have now
   I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure!
   I'm a right-brain mind in a left-brain job
   I'm apathetic and I don't care
   I'm feeling argumentative. Please contradict me.
   I'm feeling homicidal--say ANYTHING
   I'm going to develop some willpower, but not today.  Today, I'm going to read a book while recovering from the half block of chocolate I just ate.
   I'm GREAT at immaturity--I've been practicing for decades
   I'm having a mid-week experience
   I'm immortal.  I'm bored.  Let's party.
   I'm in a good mood--don't change it
   I'm killing time, wasting space, and going through a phase
   I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more!
   I'm not breaking the rules--I'm just testing their elasticity
   I'm not ignoring you--I'm MULTI-TASKING
   I'm not irresponsible--I'm out of control
   I'm not panicking. I'm watching you panic. It's much more entertaining.
   I'm not shy--I'm studying my prey
   I'm not tense, just terribly alert
   I'm out of bed and dressed.  What more do you want?
   I'm so bored I may have to resort to doing some work
   I'm sorry, but a unicorn doesn't work like a mule
   I'm the world's foremost authority on my own opinion
   Incorrigible Romantic
   Indecision is the basis of flexibility
   Instant gratification isn't fast enough
   Invertebrate Punster   Spinelessly unable to resist a pun   So slug me!
   Is there really a difference between whining and complaining about whining?
   It gets real lonely as a moderate activist, standing alone with a sign that reads, "Reasonable informed discussion of the issues as soon as feasible"
   It takes all kinds of people to make a world, but did you ever think the percentages were wrong?
   It takes years of practice to have a happy childhood
   It's a control freak thing--I won't LET you understand
   It's been an ugly week--don't give me a target
   It's hard to predict the future when they keep changing the past
   I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand
   I've got nothing to say--don't make me say it twice
   I've had fun before.  This isn't it.
   I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it
   Just doing my bit to lower property values
   Lead me not into temptation--I can find it for myself
   Lethargy in motion
   Let's get some chaos into this confusion
   Life's a bitch, but I like my life
   Live Wild or Die!
   Me not responsible. Me just pawn in game of life
   Meandering to a different drummer
   Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
   Migratory lifeform with a tropism for bookstores
   Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
   Misspent youth in progress
   Misanthropology: the study of why people are so stupid and why most of them should die, SOON!
   *Modified Rapture*
   A morning without coffee is like something without something else
   My commitment is to truth, not consistency
   My life is based on a true story
   My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring
   My whole life is a movie--it's just that there are no dissolves.  I have to live every agonizing moment of it--my life needs editing.
   Nasty, Brutish, and Short
   No psychodramas ["the scream" with forbid symbol)
   Nobody can be exactly like me--even I have trouble doing it
   Non-linear, far from equilibrium, and strangely attracted
   Not quite human any longer
   Nothing can stop me--not even common sense
   Of course I'm in a bad mood--someone just dropped a house on my sister
   Once you've come out as a pagan bisexual married leather dyke, everything else in life is that much easier
   Out of body, back in five minutes
   Out of mind, back in five minutes
   Party Vegetable
   PMS?  No, I'm always like this.  Why do you ask?
   Possessor of a mind not merely twisted but actually sprained
   Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kind of neat.
   Raised by humans
   Really? What a coincidence--I'm shallow, too!
   Rebel without a clue
   Relaxed Agnostic   I don't know any answers   I'm not looking very hard, either
   Rules?  What rules?
   The same qualities that make me so charming have also made me unemployable
   Sarcasm impaired.  Please mark all jokes clearly.
   Serenity through viciousness
   Set wiseass on automatic
   Sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak POUNCE!
   Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps
   Some folks just aren't cut out to be normal...
   Some people have children in order to buy toys--I feel it's cheaper and more dignified to cut out the middleman and buy toys for myself
   Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination
   Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.
   Spending a year dead for tax purposes
   The squeaky wheel gets the hammer
   Success didn't spoil me--I've always been insufferable
   Suffering makes you deep.  Travel makes you broad. I'd rather travel.
   Thank you for not trying to raise my consciousness
   Thank you for trying to sell me something I don't want, but I don't have any surplus hostility to vent.  Could you please come back at a worse time?
   That may well be so true, but my mind working am not
   That's ok--I don't remember my name either
   There comes a moment in everyone's life, and I've had plenty of them
   There's a thin woman inside every fat woman...I ate mine
   This button is right side up--the person wearing it has flipped [text is upside down]
   This mind intentionally left blank
   'Tis the season to be cranky
   Trust me
   User Hostile
   User Surly
   Warning: Whimsical when bored
   Watch it--You're trying my infinite patience
   We both have the same problem--you
   We've got to stop hurting each other--you first
   What part of "HUH?" didn't you understand?
   Whoever controls the purple, controls the world
   Will of iron, whim of steel
   Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy
   Words cannot express how I feel about you.  Stand by for gestures.
   Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe
   Write failed on /dev/brain0:filesystem full   Write failed on /dev/brain0:filesystem full   Write failed on /dev/brain0:filesystem full
   Yes, I know it's bad for me, but nagging me about it might be bad for you
   You'll have to be nice to me--I throw up easily
   I'd rather be lucid dreaming
   Memory file not found.  Please hit refresh button to reboot name file.
   Y2K complacent
   Can I have my mid-life crisis now while I'm young and agile enough to enjoy it?
   Don't bother me--I'm living happily ever after
   I'm a bad thing that happens to good people
   I'm an atheist. It's a simple faith, but it comforts me.
   Victim of late-onset ADD
   EVIL shouldn't look this GOOD
   I'm just wearing black until I find something darker
   Dances with scissors, plays well with wolves
   In mundania, I'm short, fat, and weird.  In fandom, I'm compact, cuddly, and interesting.
   Decadence is its own reward
   Photographic memory....I just ran out of film   
   I'm sorry, but I'm not apologizing any more   
   If I had one more brain cell, I'd be dangerous   
   In my next life, I want more memory installed   
   Bored Now  
   If the thought of doing something makes me giggle for at least 15 seconds, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it  
   I'm not being argumentative. I'm just contradicting you.
   I've packed my emotional baggage and I'm ready for my ego trip
   How can we stand the excitement? [flat-mouthed smiley face]
   I have a photographic memory, but I'm out of film   
   Available introvert. Say hi.  
   I wasn't myself, but whoever I was is very, very sorry   
   New Meds---please be patient  
   Still not God....   
   Ooooh, SHINY!
   My two favorite colors are "Ooooh" and "SHINY!"
   Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Interrogative
   I'm willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them
   Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda. didn't. ['didn't' is smaller]
   I am NOT your spiritual scratching post
   Free the Endorphins!
   I found my hobbies had become unmanageable
   I want a "do it for me" button that pushes itself
   I dressed myself today!
   I can't brain today. I have the dumb.
   Nipples pierced, hug with caution
   Human beings are a rough sketch for an intelligent species
   It's not that I'm trying to attract attention. It's just that I have poor impulse control and I went to art school.
   There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want  
   You see the look on my face and yet you keep talking to me
   JUST VISITING THIS UNIVERSE....therefore, in no way responsible  
   Come on, brain! You & me together....   
   Friendly introvert. Please say hi.
   I'd rather be easily amused than impossible to please
   I used to not be interested in politics. I'd like to get back to that.
   We're supposed to have high-fiber foods and low-flow toilets. No wonder we're full of crap.
   I would be unstoppable. If I could just get started.
   Never go to bed mad--stay up and fight
   Talk nerdy to me
   Feral but willing to be petted
   I'm like a superhero, but without powers or motivation
   Attempting to give a damn. Process failed. Damn not given.
   I proofread the world
   I keep telling my inner child to use its inside voice, but it won't listen
   I have the right to remain silent, but I don't have the ability
   Wake me if something plausible happens
   There is no substitute for MORE
   Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leash
   I am not a mad scientist. I am an angry engineer.
   Non-Standard Sense of Humor
   My inner child wants an inner puppy
   Epic Fail
   Runs with scissors
   Your peace of mind is not the most important thing in my life
   The hell with enlightenment, I want to have a tantrum
   Beware of oncoming nitpick
   I'm just in it for the stories [checklist] Fandom  The military Theater Life
   VENI (I came) VIDI (I saw) RISI (I laughed)
   I don't think I'll ever understand human beings
   I hear 80 is the new 60, but why does 40 have to be the new 80?
   I'm not entirely on anyone's side because no one is entirely on mine
   Not easily amused. Please keep trying
   I'm going to kill everyone! No jury would ever convict me because they'll all be dead!
   DO NOT INTERRUPT -- My brain doesn't have a pause button
   One false move and I'll get silly!
   Please excuse me. I'm having trouble with my grown up words today.   
   I don't want to nag you, BUT YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE!
   Quietly sociable-- it's ok, you don't have to draw me into conversation
   You've read my button. Isn't that enough social interaction for one day?
   Damn it, things are supposed to WORK!
   It's fine with me if you get off my case
   Forgiveness may heal a wounded soul, but it will never replace REVENGE [first word in white, last word in red, rest in black, background is gray]
   Functioning within normal parameters
   I cannot remake the universe, and must therefore put up with this one
   I've stopped fighting my inner demons.  We're on the same side now.
   I *do* have a clue. I just don't want to wear it out.
   EVIDENCE-BASED OUTRAGE...  A little slower, a lot more satisfying
   Usefully Annoying
   Non-chatty introvert. Please do your social rituals elsewhere.
   I do not spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly, like a fucking lady.
   Unreliable Narrator
   You wouldn't like me when I'm angry, because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources. --The Credible Hulk
   Drama Free Zone
   I'm so stressed, I'm getting on my own nerves
   I'm not interested in competing with anyone. I hope we all make it.
   I turn the other cheek. I only have four of them, so SO DON'T OVERDO IT!
   Not my circus, not my monkeys
   One thing that annoys me, among the many things that annoy me
   I can't get out of bed.... these blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave I might betray their trust


   It's a control freak thing. I won't let you understand!
   If all the world's a stage, I want better lighting!
   User Surly
   I like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear my brain cells dying.
   It never fails! You start having fun, and they send in the lawyers.
   DO NOT DISTURB Occupant is disturbed enough already
   BEEN THERE, DONE THAT - Can't remember why...
   I'm not lost, I'm exploring!
   Carpe Noctem - Anything worth doing happens after dark!
   If you believe you can tell me what to think, I believe I can tell you where to go.
   Anything purple is mine. Everything else can be dyed or painted.
   Power Corrupts--absolute power is kind of neat

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  I have no shame. I sold it because I wasn't using it.


Contact Nancy Lebovitz to discuss anything you want; she's friendly. This includes discussing the site, of course.
Or contact Joshua Kronengold, who did most of the [perl] CGI and HTML work on the site if you want to discuss similar work [He's not at all cheap, but is good and fast].