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Category (MISCELLANEOUS)


Buttons

   ...another smooth escape disguised as a dramatic exit
   Avoid cliches like the plague--they're a dime a dozen
   Beagle Philosophy: Everything has a flavor
   Been there, done that, burned the negatives
   Been there, done that, out-grew the t-shirt
   Been there, done that, wore out the t-shirt
   Boredom delenda est!
   Clue
   Conform, go crazy, become a lawyer
   The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life
   Don't mock the insecure
   Excuse me while I change into something more formidable
   The four gaits: Walk, trot, canter, and what was that noise?
   Gene Police: YOU!! Out of the pool!
   Genetically perfect but morally crippled
   Global Village Idiot
   God is dead--you are all absolutely free
   Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror, and you would have been informed
   Happiness is the planet Earth in your rear view mirror
   Have an illuminated day! [picture of smiley pyramid]
   History repeats itself, but each time the price goes up
   HONOR   Do what you say.  Say what you mean.  Mean what you do.
   Horses are dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle
   Hostes aliengeni me abduxerent.  Qui annus est? (Aliens abducted me.  What year is it?)
   Housewives against entropy
   The human race is still in beta testing
   I am a buttonholic. If you are a decent person, you will not sell me another button.
   I am Goth. See me pout.
   I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater
   I am very interested in the future because I plan to spend the rest of my life there
   I don't have morals. I do have standards.
   I haven't exactly lost it--it's been temporarily mislaid
   I haven't lost it--it's been temporally mislaid
   I know it all.  I just can't remember it simultaneously.
   I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
   I wouldn't mind dying--it's that business of having to stay dead that scares me
   I'd do anything to make you happy, but you're asking too much
   If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail [picture of thumbnail]
   If God had meant us to be naked, we would have been born that way
   If I were any more convenient, I'd be a nuisance
   If it's worth saying, it's worth saying on a button
   If not now, when?  If not yes, why not?
   If there's so much labor-saving machinery, why don't I have more free time?
   If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?
   If we were meant to fly, we wouldn't keep losing our luggage
   If you don't like lawyers, the next time you're arrested hire a comedian
   If you want to live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse, IT'S TOO LATE!
   I'll wear any color so long as it's black
   I'm not a white male--I'm differently oppressed, ok?
   I'm not lost--I'm directionally challenged
   I'm not politically incorrect--I'm politically challenged
   I'm only a hypnotist, so this is only a suggestion
   Imagination is intelligence having fun
   Impartial Moderator or Tyrannical Despot--only historians will know for sure
   Instead of fighting, we should all join hands like ebony and ivory living together on a piano. It's so embarrassing it HAS to work!
   LIFE
   Live Wild or Die!
   The millennium begins on January 1, 2000.  Please be patient.
   My brain is the most important thing about me, but look what told me that
   National Lampoon Staff Anthropologist at large
   Never argue with a Scorpio--even if you win, you lose
   Never argue with a Scorpio--it's frustrating and you'll lose anyway
   New Year's Eve, 2000--the odometer turns over.  New Year's Eve, 2001--the beginning of the millennium.  Join the two party system!
   Of course I can keep secrets--it's the people I tell them to who can't keep them
   One half of all marriages end in divorce, the rest in death--I got out alive!
   Other sports exist only to keep you occupied until baseball season comes around again
   Passing directly from barbarism to decadence
   Power corrupts--isn't that what it's for?
   Projecting empaths--You gotta feel sorry for them
   The purpose of art is to hold a mirror up to life.  Life obviously needs more sleep.
   Repetition is the soul of wit.  Repetition is the soul of wit.  Repetition...
   The revolution will not be a three-part, prestige-format miniseries
   Rule Six: Anyone who thinks rule 6 should be "There is no rule six" must repeat other people's jokes until they get the point
   Running an open marriage is a little like running a business or a political group, but not in a boring way
   Sometimes the truth can be so unnecessary
   Speak softly and wear a LOUD shirt
   Stupid? I don't know the meaning of the word
   Subvert the dominant paradigm!
   Support your local thieves' guild--leave your doors unlocked
   That which does not kill me makes me smarter
   Think of it as evolution in action
   This person is a natural product.  The slight variations in color andtexture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.
   Time is just an illusion perpetuated by the manufacturers of space
   Vampire victim--be nice to me today [picture of smiley with teeth]
   The views expressed here do not necessarily represent those of the management
   Vuja De': the strange feeling you get that nothing has happened before
   We all have faults, and mine is being wicked
   We are experiencing synaptical difficulties--please stand by
   We must be devious, cunning, inventive...too bad we're us
   We're going to keep on repeating history until we get a passing grade
   What a long strange trip it's been
   WHAT Sixties revival? The Sixties never died!
   Whenever I try to get in touch with myself, I always get the answering machine
   Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
   Why can't you be unique and original like everybody else?
   Will kill pink dinosaur for plots
   Woman has certain inalienable rights, and first and foremost among them is the right to occupy as much room as nature intended.  No more diets!
   You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much of your time reading buttons
   You wouldn't say that if I were Fabio
   Your eyes are weary from reading buttons.  You are sleepy.  You agree with all my ideas.  You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
   You're not right.  You just SOUND right.
   You're not the only one who thinks I don't know what I'm doing
   Martha Stewart would die if she saw this place--let's invite her over
   I don't flirt with death.  She runs up and sticks her tongue in my ear.
   I have the body of a goddess--the Venus of Willendorf
   If you want to see me, drop in any time. If you want to see my house, make an appointment
   There WAS no cabal
   The words of the magus are to know, to will, to do, and one more I could remember if everyone would just shut up for a moment
   Europeans think a hundred miles is a long way.  Americans think a hundred years is a long time
   Immoral Support
   Flying--the next best thing to standing in line
   Packrats of the world unite! Together we can buy a warehouse complex
   It seemed liked a good idea at the time
   Settlers of Catan: Everybody must get stone   
   It's not age, it's richness of experience
   T'ai Chi--the traditional Chinese martial art of boring your enemies to death   
   Girl Genius Scouts  (it only takes a spark....)   
   If the shoe fits, buy it in all the colors
   If you say "perfectly good airplane" in any context whatsoever, I will beat you to death with my parachute   
   There are no old jokes, only old audiences  
   Have forgotten my original hair color   
   Good housekeeping is an exact science. I'm into art.  
   Rikki-tikki-tavi Club---run and find out  
   My hair is this color because I ate paint chips as a child
   Have I talked to you about my parrot in the past five minutes?
   Owned by a parrot
   Happiness is biting your parrot back
   Belly-dancing--the most fun you can have with (half) your clothes on!
   Catch and release--when you just want to make the fish late for something
   I read lips, and I haven't seen a word you've said
   If it weren't for electricity, we'd be watching television by candlelight
   Warning: experience acquisition zone
   A motion to adjourn is always in order
   To a lemming, "No" means "This way to next cliff"
   Christmas is supposed to be about peace on earth, not hell on wheels
   I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning--just not as it applies to me
   Happy Holidays!
   CLUE--now available in both spray and roll on
   Been there. Done that. Beat the indictment.
   They aren't buttons. They're a secret handshake. www.nancybuttons.com
   Life is full of challenge and frustration, but sooner or later you'll find a hairstyle you like
   I haven't lost my marbles--I traded them for beads
   Have cane, not able
   Natural Redhead--keep out of direct sunlight
   Emissary from THE PARTY PLANET
   A shirt isn't your until you've fed it
   History-- It's always more complicated
   I am not a werewolf
   Mean people shouldn't breed
   BPAL: the first one is fairly cheap
   Race: human. Culture: yes.
   I do what the little voices in my GPS tell me to
   That's ok, I don't remember your name, either
   I'm so old I remember silent radio
   They're young adults, not old children!
   Knowing all this information has got to be good for something
   There is no Planet B
   No cake for you!
   I don't believe in magic, but I do believe in interpreting coincidence
   Ellis startled the witch...again!
   Yes, I set off metal detectors in airports
   There is no art police
   What I really want is a phone with caller IQ
   Killing time is for people who want it better dead
   The apes whom the gods would test, they first make intelligent  
   How do you protect good ideas from people who only care about status?
   Epic fail is still epic
   Old Goths never die, but it becomes increasingly difficult to tell the difference
   I've given up on history. Too many spoilers.
   Lego is Danish for caltrop
   My other car is a purse
   Remember to close all parentheses. We're not paying to air condition the entire paragraph.
   You never know how much you have until you clean your craft room
   It'll nr increasingly cool right up until
   Nothing is ever only a coincidence

Stickers

   My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her... or something like that.
   Subvert the dominant paradigm!
   Been there. Done that. Went back for more.
   You don't need a pedigree to be a best friend
   A closed mind doesn't need drugs-- It's already wasted
   Smoking is like sex-- It should always be between consenting adults in private
   Ferrets are better than television. Ferrets won't try to sell you useless junk, they never use a "laugh track", they won't insult your intelligence, they have no remote to lose, they're portable without using batteries, they're never loud, and you can enjoy them without having to develop a short attention span!
   DANCE GYPSY

ADVICE
ANARCHY
ANGST
ANIME
ANTI-BUSH
THE ARTS
ATTITUDE, ARROGANCE, BOASTING
BABIES AND OTHER RELATIVES
BACKRUBS AND HUGS
BITCHINESS AND PMS
BOOKS
BUREAUCRACY
CAFFEINE
CATS
CHOCOLATE
COME ONS, TURNDOWNS, SEX, GENDER
COMPUTERS: General
COMPUTERS: Angst
COMPUTERS: Bugs
COMPUTERS: Dealing with Users
COMPUTERS: Jobs
COMPUTERS: Personal Computers (DOS, MAC, etc.)
COMPUTERS: Programming
COMPUTERS: Puns
COMPUTERS: Specific Languages (C, COBOL, OTHERS)
COMPUTERS: Unix and Related OS's
COMPUTERS: Email, social media, the web, and usenet
CROSSOVER
CTHULHU
CYNICISM
DISCORDIANISM
DOGS
DRINKING AND DRUGS
DRIVING
ELECTION 2004
FAERIE
FANDOM
FIBER ARTS
FIRST AMENDMENT
FANTASY
FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING
FOOD
IDEALISM
INSANITY
KINKY
LANGUAGE
LATENESS
L337 and LOLCAT
LEFT-HANDEDNESS AND DYSLEXIA
LIBRARIES
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
MATHEMATICS
MEDIA
MEDICAL
MEDIEVALISM
MILITARY AND WAR
MONEY
MOOD AND TEMPERAMENT
MORNINGS, SLEEP DEPRIVATION
MURPHY'S LAWS
MUSIC
9/11
NINJA
NUMBER OF THE BEAST
OBSCURE
PAGANISM
PARADOXES AND LOGIC
PIRATES
POLITICS
PUNS
PURPLE
REALITY
RELIGION
RIDDLES
SCHOOL
SCIENCE
SECOND AMENDMENT
SCIENCE FICTION
SICK HUMOR
SILLINESS
SMOKING AND NON-SMOKING
SONG PARODIES
SPACE
STRESS
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISM
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
VAMPIRES
VIOLENCE
VERY SECRET DIARIES
WEAPONS
WEIRDNESS
WORK
WRITING
ZOMBIES
MISCELLANEOUS

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