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Category (UNIVERSAL TRUTHS)

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   Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later
   Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain
   All you need is WD40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop
   Amateurs worry about strategy.  Dilettantes worry about tactics.   Professionals worry about logistics.
   Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog.  Few people are interested, and the frog dies of it.
   Any civilization that can't distinguish between magic and technology is insufficiently advanced
   Any slogan simple enough to fit on a button is too simple to do any good
   Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
   Any sufficiently complicated technology is indistinguishable from bad karma
   Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced
   Anyone who wears a bitch button probably isn't kidding
   Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about
   Bad taste is timeless
   Being weird isn't enough
   A bird does not sing because it has an answer--it sings because it has a song
   The border between the Real and the Unreal is not fixed, but just marks the last place where rival gangs of shamans fought each other to a standstill
   Bugs don't happen because you do something.  Bugs just are.
   Bureaucrats cut red tape--lengthwise
   By the time rules are needed, it's already too late
   Cheap, Fast, Good--pick two
   The chief cause of problems is solutions
   Common sense is what tells you the earth is flat
   Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers
   Democracy is the form of government where everyone gets what the majority deserves
   The difference between a fool and a criminal is that a fool attacks unpredictably and on a wider front
   The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
   Every organization appears to be headed by the secret agents of its enemies
   Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty
   The fear of death is the beginning of slavery
   First-rate people hire first-rate people.  Second-rate people hire third-rate people.
   For something to become clean, something else must become dirty, but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean
   Forecasting is difficult, especially about the future
   Freedom of speech is wonderful--right up there with the freedom not to listen
   The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality
   God saw absolute truth lying in the street and picked it up. The Devil said, "Give it to me and I'll organize it for you."
   Half the fun of being alive is not knowing what tomorrow will bring.  The other half is pretending you don't care.
   Hatred is not a family value
   History doesn't always repeat itself--sometimes it screams, "WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING?" and lets fly with a club
   History is the science of what never happens twice
   History repeats itself.  That's one of the things wrong with history.
   Home is where you can scratch where it really itches
   Housework can kill you if you do it right
   Humanity's strongest impulse is the desire to edit other people's copy ^H^H^H^H words^H^H^H^H^H writing
   Humor is emotional chaos recollected in tranquility
   I have to do it myself, but I can't do it alone
   An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it
   If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
   If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
   If it's any of your business, it isn't really gossip
   If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid
   If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly
   If people see that you mean them no harm, they'll never hurt you, nine times out of ten
   If we wish to understand the nature of the universe, we have an inner hidden advantage: we are ourselves little portions of the universe, and so carry the answer within us
   If you are willing to die, you can do anything
   If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten
   If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
   Ignorance killed the cat.  Curiousity was framed.
   The important things are always simple.  Simple things are always hard.
   In nature, there are no rewards or punishments, only consequences
   Indecision is the basis of flexibility
   Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out
   It is impossible to solve a problem with the consciousness that created it
   It takes longer than one lifetime to respond to all the fools in the world
   It's always darkest just before you step on the cat
   It's amazing how long it takes to finish something you're not working on
   It's amazing how much mature wisdom resembles being too tired
   It's hard to predict the future when they keep changing the past
   It's never too late to have a happy childhood
   It's not that simple [the initial letter is heavily ornamented]
   It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry [with picture of penguin]
   The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder
   Laws are made to be broken
   Life--a sexually transmitted disease that afflicts some people more than others
   Life--an invariably fatal condition spread by sexual contact
   Life is complex--it's partly real and partly imaginary
   Life's a bitch, but the puppies are cute
   Life's cold--dress appropriately
   Love--it's not just a good idea--it's the Law
   Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view
   The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled
   The mind is the final battlefield. The stuff in between is just noise.
   Nature knows no politics, but nature always votes
   The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.  The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many. [written in Yin/Yang symbol]
   No man is an island so long as he is on at least one mailing list
   No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up
   No matter where you go, there you are
   No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
   No one ever built a statue to a critic
   No one is a failure who is enjoying life
   Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
   Nothing is evenly distributed
   Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
   Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason
   Nothing is more dangerous than an idea...if it's the only one you've got
   Nothing is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity
   The obscure we see immediately, the completely apparent takes longer
   Old age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill
   Our problems are mostly behind us.  What we have to do now is fight the solutions.
   Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life
   People are SUPPOSED to be inconvenient.  If you're too convenient, you aren't doing your job.
   The problem with unwritten laws is that they're so hard to erase
   Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel
   The pursuit of power is the quest for the unattainable by the unphilosophical though the tactics of the unspeakable
   The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet
   Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it
   Some folks just aren't cut out to be normal...
   Stupidity got us into this mess--why can't it get us out?
   Success is achieving the top of the food chain
   There are no answers, only cross-references
   There comes a time when nothing's left but style
   There is a fine line between courage and foolishness.  Too bad it's not a fence.
   There is no substitute for incomprehensible good luck
   There isn't time enough for love, so what does that leave for hate?
   There must be more fools than knaves in the world, or else the knaves wouldn't have enough to live on
   There's always free cheese in a mousetrap
   There's never time to do it right.  There's always time to do it over.
   Things could be worse.  Suppose your errors were counted and recorded every day like those of a baseball player.
   Things only appear to get lost--they're waiting for you in next week
   This is part of the 1000 hours of training
   Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music
   Tight centralized controls will lead, at best, to fewer and worse disasters
   To summarize the summary of a summary: people are a problem
   A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense
   Truth comes as an enemy only to those who have lost the ability to welcome it as a friend
   Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense
   The universe does not have laws--it has habits, and habits can be broken
   Virtue is more to be feared than vice because its excesses are not regulated by conscience
   We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities
   We'll KNOW that rock is dead when you need a degree to get a job in it
   Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed
   What's the good of being grown-up if you can't be childish?
   When the foolkiller comes around, we'd better ALL hide in the high grass
   When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary
   Whoever dies with the most skills wins
   The will to be stupid is a very powerful force
   Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift.  That's why they call it the present.
   You are only as strong as your weakest delusion
   You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof
   You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus
   You get what you settle for
   Sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn
   Power corrupts.  Absolute power corrupts absolutely.  Petty power corrupts out of all proportion.
   The only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were
   Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
   It's better to be lucky than smart, but it's easier to be smart twice than lucky twice
   The past isn't dead. It isn't even past.
   Those who take history personally are condemned to repeat it
   If everything looks like it's made of shit, you probably have your head up your ass
   The lesser of two evils is still less evil
   Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice
   Whenever there are sacrifices, there is someone collecting sacrifices
   Sometimes you have to lose a lot of q-tips before you realize you have a hole in your head
   [on yin-yang] The Devil is in the details/God hides in the details
   Power is what you take. Respect is what you earn.
   What appears to be a crisis is often just the end of an illusion
   Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not to their own facts
   There's no such thing as being overeducated.
   Life expands to fill the available minutes
   Forgiveness is giving up hope of a better past
   If they can make you believe absurdities, they can make you commit atrocities
   That which can be destroyed by the truth should be
   Failure is not an option -- it's the standard equipment. Success is the high-priced option.
   Love is an emotion, not a superpower
   You can print money, but you can't print trust
   The greatest barrier to communication is belief that it has already happened
   Violence is not a shortcut. Violence changes your destination.
   With feedback, decisions are judged on results. Without feedback, decisions are judged on appearance.
   You do social change with the people you've got, not the people you wish you had
   Being angry doesn't make ANYONE telepathic. Neither does being hurt.
   There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning.
   [bell curve: the left tail is labeled "epic fail", the right tail is "made of win", and the big lump in the middle is "most of life]
   Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd
   I find a lot of human communication patterns very underspecified for a communications protocol. --Russ Allbery
   You might as well look for it. At least you're likely to find something else.
   You can't understand what people are saying unless you understand who they're arguing with
   You can't understand what people are saying unless you understand who they're arguing with
   Accept reality. It works better.
   What many people believe is concentration is merely the act of thinking about concentration
   The conclusion you jump to may be your own
   A little hostility goes a long way, but possibly not in the direction you want
   The laws are not the government. The government is not the country. The holy text is not the religion.
   Sometimes the best answer is a more interesting question
   I cannot remake the universe, and must therefore put up with this one
   The confidence of amateurs is the envy of professionals
   Sometimes the best answer is a more interesting question
   Being lucky is not a repeatable strategy
   I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you
   Authority is a means, not an end
   The truth has no agenda
   Only by stepping back to look at the big picture can we find out if we were standing with our backs to a ledge

Stickers

   Some push the envelope, some just lick it, and some can't find the flap!
   Those who dance are thought mad by those who hear not the music.
   Belief is no substitute for knowledge

ADVICE
ANARCHY
ANGST
ANIME
ANTI-BUSH
THE ARTS
ATTITUDE, ARROGANCE, BOASTING
BABIES AND OTHER RELATIVES
BACKRUBS AND HUGS
BITCHINESS AND PMS
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COMPUTERS: General
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COMPUTERS: Puns
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COMPUTERS: Unix and Related OS's
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CROSSOVER
CTHULHU
CYNICISM
DISCORDIANISM
DOGS

DRINKING AND DRUGS
DRIVING
ELECTION 2004
FAERIE
FANDOM
FIBER ARTS
FIRST AMENDMENT
FANTASY
FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING
FOOD
IDEALISM
INSANITY
KINKY
LANGUAGE
LATENESS
L337 and LOLCAT
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LIBRARIES
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
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MEDIEVALISM
MILITARY AND WAR
MONEY
MOOD AND TEMPERAMENT
MORNINGS, SLEEP DEPRIVATION
MURPHY'S LAWS
MUSIC
9/11
NINJA
NUMBER OF THE BEAST

OBSCURE
PAGANISM
PARADOXES AND LOGIC
PIRATES
POLITICS
PUNS
PURPLE
REALITY
RELIGION
RIDDLES
SCHOOL
SCIENCE
SECOND AMENDMENT
SCIENCE FICTION
SICK HUMOR
SILLINESS
SMOKING AND NON-SMOKING
SONG PARODIES
SPACE
STRESS
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISM
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
VAMPIRES
VIOLENCE
VERY SECRET DIARIES
WEAPONS
WEIRDNESS
WORK
WRITING
ZOMBIES
MISCELLANEOUS

Contact Nancy Lebovitz to discuss anything you want; she's friendly. This includes discussing the site, of course.
Or contact Joshua Kronengold, who did most of the [perl] CGI and HTML work on the site if you want to discuss similar work [He's not at all cheap, but is good and fast].