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Category (COMPUTERS: Programming)

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   And it's finished! It only has to be written
   Code as if whoever maintains your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live
   The computer is stronger than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer
   Documentation is the castor oil of programming.  Managers know it must be good because programmers hate it so much.
   Don't get creative here--standards are good for you
   If a program is useful, it must be changed--if it's useless, it must be documented
   If a system is of sufficient complexity, it will be written before it's designed, implemented before it's tested, and obsolete before it's debugged
   If it were easy to understand, we wouldn't call it code
   Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out
   It's fairly easy to write a program that conforms to spec.  It's almost impossible to write a spec that conforms to what you want.
   It's not pinging.  It's passed on.  This program is no more.  It's expired and gone to meet its make-r.  This is a late program.  It's a stiff...  *This is an X program.*
   Just adding features because 'it won't hurt'--does
   My strength is as the strength of ten because my code is pure
   Programming is a race between programmers trying to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to create bigger and better idiots
   Programming is an art form that fights back
   Programming: The art of debugging an empty text file
   Programming: The art of putting bugs into an empty text file
   Real men write self-modifying code
   Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
   Refusing to live in the real world will substantially reduce the portability of your code
   Systems Analysis: finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw
   There is not now and never will be a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs
   To iterate is human, to recurse, divine
   Why are the most useless computer programs the most fun to write?
   You can tell a real programmer by the keyboard dents in their foreheads
   You've got to know when to code'em, know when to modem, know when to load'em up, know when to run.  Don't count your money when you're sitting at the keyboard--there'll be time enough for counting when the program's done
   If you write code that is as clever as you can manage, you will not be clever enough to debug it
   Recursion is easy.  You take a big problem, break off a managable chunk, and are left with a bigger chunk.
   Recursive programming [in a circular flowchart that goes from dammit to dammit and so around]
   In database design, the only numbers are zero, one, and many. Sometimes one is a special case of many.
   I write code so you don't have to
   I'd rather be coding
   I don't have time for this. I have bugs to write.
   You only need to test the programs you want to work correctly.

Stickers

System analysis is the process of finding exactly the right wrench to pound in the required screw
REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T DOCUMENT If it was hard to write, it should be impossible to understand!

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Contact Nancy Lebovitz to discuss anything you want; she's friendly. This includes discussing the site, of course.
Or contact Joshua Kronengold, who did most of the [perl] CGI and HTML work on the site if you want to discuss similar work [He's not at all cheap, but is good and fast].