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Category (MONEY)


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   An acceptable level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job
   *All* houses are fixer-uppers
   Beam me up--they're not hiring either
   A billion here, a couple of billion there--first thing you know, it adds up to real money
   Born to shop
   Bribe is such a...crass word
   Cashectomies expertly performed
   Cheer up--if the economy collapses completely, you won't owe your student loan to ANYBODY
   Computers will be perfect when they can predict how much more the job will cost than the estimate
   The customer isn't always right, but they do get an unnatural amount of slack
   Do we really want the people who solved the S & L crisis to solve the education crisis?
   A dollar's a bad boss, and dying's a bad fear
   Don't just stand there--buy something!
   Don't pay taxes--it just encourages them
   Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.  Thank you for your cooperation.
   Government is the great fiction whereby everyone endeavors to live at the expense of everyone else
   A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul
   Have food--will work for money
   I can't be overdrawn--I still have checks left!
   I don't blame Congress.  If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.
   I fight for what I believe in. I'm a mercenary, and what I believe in is money.
   I just know I was meant to be born rich--somebody up there must have fouled up the paperwork
   I spend my life doing things I detest to make money I don't need to buy things I don't want to impress people I don't like
   I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money
   I was sitting in the lap of luxury--and then luxury stood up
   If I thought life was cheap, I wouldn't charge so much to take one
   If my income is fixed, how come I'm always broke?
   If you could print all the money you wanted, and steal all the money you wanted, couldn't you manage to stay out of debt?
   I'm an ARTIST--please feed my creditors
   I'm from the IRS.  The government has spent all your tax money.  Could we please have some more?
   I'm not selling out--I'm buying in
   Isn't it time to throw some money at MY problem?
   It's hard to be one of the thousand points of light when you can't pay your electric bill
   It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
   Lotteries--you have to play to lose
   Money can't buy happiness, but it does quiet the nerves
   Money is its own reward
   Nobody's life, liberty or property are safe when Congress is in session
   Of course I despise money when I haven't got any. It's the only dignified thing to do.
   Physics is not a religion.  If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
   Remember to safeguard your wallets.  Hucksters have been seen at the convention.
   The shorter the life of the particle, the more it costs to produce
   So many books, so little money
   They say the wages of sin are death, but after they take out taxes, all that's left is a tired feeling
   Trickle down economics: Giving money to government bureaucrats and hoping that some will trickle down to the people who need help
   The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time
   Veni, Vidi, Visa
   We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you
   What do you mean, we're not getting paid?
   Whoever said that money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop
   Why work for a living when you can die for art?
   Will build secret weapon for food
   You can name your own salary here--I call mine Fred
   I pretend to work.  They pretend to pay me.
   Carpe per diem
   I didn't believe in entropy until I bought a house
   Have you heard about our generous minion benefit plan?  
   Will work for money   
   Nothing is too good for our troops means Congress hasn't found a way to pay them less than nothing   
   Cats let you think you own them, but your cat is actually rented from the vet
   I'm not worried about the deficit. It's big enough to take care of itself.   
   Change is inevitable. Exact change is appreciated.
   Real musicians have day jobs
   The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent
   Around here I can write my own ticket, but now I owe myself two hundred bucks
   There's gotta be an easier way of going broke
   Being abducted and probed by aliens wasn't bad enough, now I find out my HMO won't cover it!  
   If I had intended to work this hard while living in unpaid obscurity, I could have been a science fiction writer
   Money can't buy happiness. You have to turn it into books.
   You can print money, but you can't print trust
   If money is the root of all evil, it must be imaginary
   Craigslist... where hoarders meet shopaholics
   I teach for free. They pay me to give grades.
   I was not born to break even.  
   LBJ's Law: Wars take longer and cost more
   The less satisfactory something is, the more it requires advertising
   I'll recognize corporations as people when Texas executes an innocent one
   Just waiting for the economy to improve
   If you're so rich, why aren't you smart?
   In Soviet America, bank robs you
   If you need to hide the close button, that means people don't want to read your ad!
   Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masquerading as a moral principle
   I'm an artist. Pay me in money. People die of exposure.

Stickers

   My kid and your taxes go to Starfleet Academy
   My kid swindled your honor student at the Ferengi College of Business, where students learn to profit from more than just mistakes.
   Who needs drugs? I go broke buying books!
   Will Write Code for Food
   A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers.
   Inside every small problem is a big one trying to get government funding
   Will Genetically Engineer Organisms For Food

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