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   Among animals, it's eat or be eaten.  Among people it's define or be defined.
   Any sufficiently high technology is indistinguishable from doubletalk
   Censorship ///// is for your own good <has slashout>
   The computing field is always in need of new cliches
   Do you know that gullible isn't in the dictionary?
   Does 'anal retentive' have a hyphen? How about a colon?
   English is bad Ameslan
   Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt stars
   I am one of the greatest liars in the English language--I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't know it wasn't true
   I feel like I'm trapped in a Hemmingway story.  If I get any more cryptic, I won't be able to talk at all.
   I find it hard to sit still in one spot, and impossible to sit still in two spots
   If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
   If words could speak, I wonder what they'd say
   It's a damned poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word
   Learning French is trivial--the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way
   May the best man's pronoun win, even if he's a radical lesbian separatist
   The most rabid literary purist
   A person's concepts should exceed their vocabulary, or what's a metaphor?
   The politically correct are differently clued
   Prooffreading at it's best
   A sentence is a fine thing to put a preposition at the end of
   So many languages, so little time
   Some people have a way with words, and some people....um, thingy
   Stifle is practically the only word which is an anagram of itself
   Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things ---Dan Quayle
   When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish
   I'm not pompous, I'm pedantic.  There's a difference.
   GHOTI [in fish outline]
   'Literally' is just a figure of speech
   Which is correct, typos or typoes?  They're both wrong   
   First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.   
   Join the Society for the Restoration of Lost Positives--Together we can gruntle and shevel the world   
   It's not the verbing that weirds language, it's the renounification   
   Use vowels every day or you'll get consonated   
   Society for the Protection of Punctuation--an apostrophe does not mean BEWARE OF ONCOMING 'S'
   What's Klingon for "Who would bother to learn a made-up language like Elvish?"
   It really does say Adam and Steve. That's what you get for depending on translations.
   I'm not pompous; I'm pedantic. There's a difference. Let me explain it to you.
   hukt an fonetics wurkt for mi [in IPA]
   The secret message in pi is in Hebrew--we'll have to start decoding from the end
   How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you mean "change a lightbulb" or "have sex in a lightbulb"? Please clarify.
   Life is like a metaphor. No, it's a simile!
   PREFECTIONIST
   There are two types of style manual: those that mandate serial commas, and those that are evil and wrong
   What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist? An etymologist knows the difference
   When idiots in this world appear, And fail to be concise or clear, And solecisms rend the ear, The cry goes up from far and near for Blunderdog, Blunderdog, Blunderdog, Blunderdog. Pen of iron, tongue of fire, Tightening the wid'ning gyre. Blunderdo-O-O-O-G!
   There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand trinary, those who don't, and those who are reaching for a dictionary
   I have a 50,0000 word vocabulary, and I know how to use it
   No, you're a doctor. I'm THE Doctor. The definite article, you might say.   
   Pedants International: accuracy above tact
   'Literally' is the only word you aren't supposed to use figuratively
   It bugs me when I can't remember the entomology of a word
   I find a lot of human communication patterns very underspecified for a communications protocol. --Russ Allbery  
   It bugs me when I can't remember the entomology of a word
   Omt ndlss vwls
   The trouble with you, Ibid., is that you think you're the world's greatest authority on everything
   Typoes make me sic
   The Hebrew alphabet-- aleph bets belong to us
   I am an English major. You do the math.
   I shot the serif. [picture of a big letter S with a hole in the serif]  
   People say English isn't a tonal language, but duuuude....
   I can carry on a conversation made entirely of media quotes. It's like living on Darmok.
   You say it that way, I say it the correct way
   I'm a linguist. I like ambiguity more than most people
   Silently correcting your grammar
   Keep clam and poofread
   I just ate 14 cans of alphabet soup, and I just had the biggest vowel movement ever. Is that consonant with your experience?
   Synonym: a word used in place of the one you can't spell

Stickers

   Sona si Latine loqueris! [translation: Honk if you speak Latin!]
   Lingua mortua sola lingua bona est. [translation: The only good language is a dead language.]

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