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Category (COMPUTERS: Puns)


Buttons

   All the world's an analog stage, and digital circuits play only bit parts
   Avoid computer viruses--practice safe hex
   Be careful--the last person using this keyboard had a terminal disease
   C++--It's still only average
   Disklexia: putting floppies in upside down
   Down to the C in chips
   8 bits--byte, 4 bits--nybble, 2 bits--shayve and a hayrcut
   An excess of syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semi-colon
   Hacking's just another word for nothing left to kludge
   I must have slipped a disk. My pack hurts.
   If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station?
   Jobs don't kill programmers.  Programmers kill jobs.
   Love to eat them disk files, Disk files what I love to eat.  Byte they little headers off, Nybble on they tiny feet.
   My back is computerized--it has a floppy disk
   My monitor is so small that every time I open a file, I break a window
   Nice computers don't go down
   Nice computers only go down once a day
   Now is the Windows of our disk contents made glorious SimEarth by this son of Zork ---Richard v3.0
   Pixel-packin' Mama
   Two ROMs don't make a write
   Two's complement.  Three's a crowd
   Waiter--there's a feature in my soup!
   We all live in a yellow subroutine
   We hackers live for danger.  It's part of the code.
   What goes "Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"?  A parroty error
   What played computer games so much it went extinct? The Nintendodo
   Computer Analyst: "Now lie down and tell me about your motherboard...."
   Beyond "For Dummies": C++ for the Non-plussed, Visual Basic for the Blind, Perl for Swine
   I have a horrible hacking cough-- every time I clear my throat, I break into another computer system   
   What kind of a dog says "Bofh! Bofh!"?  A rootweiler  
   I am a computer geek. I bite the most significant bits off virtual chickens.   
   I am a computer geek. Watch me eat a bug.  
   The email of the species is deadlier than the mail  
   ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS

ADVICE
ANARCHY
ANGST
ANIME
ANTI-BUSH
THE ARTS
ATTITUDE, ARROGANCE, BOASTING
BABIES AND OTHER RELATIVES
BACKRUBS AND HUGS
BITCHINESS AND PMS
BOOKS
BUREAUCRACY
CAFFEINE
CATS
CHOCOLATE
COME ONS, TURNDOWNS, SEX, GENDER
COMPUTERS: General
COMPUTERS: Angst
COMPUTERS: Bugs
COMPUTERS: Dealing with Users
COMPUTERS: Jobs
COMPUTERS: Personal Computers (DOS, MAC, etc.)
COMPUTERS: Programming
COMPUTERS: Puns
COMPUTERS: Specific Languages (C, COBOL, OTHERS)
COMPUTERS: Unix and Related OS's
COMPUTERS: Email, social media, the web, and usenet
CROSSOVER
CTHULHU
CYNICISM
DISCORDIANISM
DOGS
DRINKING AND DRUGS
DRIVING
ELECTION 2004
FAERIE
FANDOM
FIBER ARTS
FIRST AMENDMENT
FANTASY
FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING
FOOD
IDEALISM
INSANITY
KINKY
LANGUAGE
LATENESS
L337 and LOLCAT
LEFT-HANDEDNESS AND DYSLEXIA
LIBRARIES
MAGIC: THE GATHERING
MATHEMATICS
MEDIA
MEDICAL
MEDIEVALISM
MILITARY AND WAR
MONEY
MOOD AND TEMPERAMENT
MORNINGS, SLEEP DEPRIVATION
MURPHY'S LAWS
MUSIC
9/11
NINJA
NUMBER OF THE BEAST
OBSCURE
PAGANISM
PARADOXES AND LOGIC
PIRATES
POLITICS
PUNS
PURPLE
REALITY
RELIGION
RIDDLES
SCHOOL
SCIENCE
SECOND AMENDMENT
SCIENCE FICTION
SICK HUMOR
SILLINESS
SMOKING AND NON-SMOKING
SONG PARODIES
SPACE
STRESS
UNITARIAN UNIVERSALISM
UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
VAMPIRES
VIOLENCE
VERY SECRET DIARIES
WEAPONS
WEIRDNESS
WORK
WRITING
ZOMBIES
MISCELLANEOUS

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  Knights try to attract women by competing with other men. Troubadours try to attract women by doing things women like. When troubadours succeed, knights think they're cheating.
 

 

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