After a correction has turned out to be a mistake, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.... Before my sword can pass through your neck it has to pass halfway through your neck. But before it can pass halfway through your neck, it has to pass a quarter of the way through your neck, and before it can do *that*.... ---Xeno, Warrior Prince Black holes are where God is dividing by zero The differential of hi over ho is ho di hi minus hi d ho over ho ho Don't drink and derive--know your limits This kind of humor is integral to calculus 43% of all statistics are worthless Fractals--what you see is what you wait for The generation of random numbers is much too important to be left to chance How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to the earlier riddle I have found a wonderful counterexample, but it won't fit in this universe --Fermat I'm sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and dial again. In mathematics, we don't understand things--we just get used to them Infinity is where you transfer from one parallel line to another Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out Irrationality is the square root of all evil It's chaos pure and simple [with detail of Mandelbrot set] Life is complex--it's partly real and partly imaginary lim (3->4) <square root of>3 = 2 Math for life, not for tests Mathematician: a machine for converting coffee into theorems Non-linear, far from equilibrium, and strangely attracted Of course I'm normal--I'm perpendicular to everything else Pi r^2 Pie are not square Pie are round Cornbread are square Politics is for the moment. An equation is for eternity. The reality you have dialed is not in service. Please check the value of pi or consult your local deity. A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least to the end of the blackboard Strange attractors--getting there is half the fun 355/113 Not the famous irrational number pi, but an incredible simulation! To be or not to be <plus or minus the square root of> 4b^2 2+2=5, for moderately large values of two 2^2^666 + 1 The Prime Number of the Beast....ok, *you* prove it isn't prime x^n + y^n = z^n has no integer solutions other than 0 for n>2 I have a wonderful proof, but it won't fit on a button Recursion is easy. You take a big problem, break off a managable chunk, and are left with a bigger chunk. Shouldn't pi be a round number? Well, it's around 3.14 There are 10 kinds of people, those who are comfortable with binary, and those who aren't Calculus: the agony and dx/dt Using lotteries to support education is a conflict of interest What part of infinity do you not understand? I believe in the Trinity... GOOGLE, BAYES' THEOREM, AND THE GODDESS BELLDANDY 6 x 9 = 42--All your base 13 are belong to us The secret message in pi is in Hebrew--we'll have to start decoding from the end The cost of innumeracy is incalculable What do you get if you cross a tse-tse fly with a mountain climber? Undefined. A tse-tse fly is a vector and a mountain climber is a scalar. Find x [right triangle with sides labelled 3, 4, and x--an arrow points to the x with "here it is"] There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand trinary, those who don't, and those who are reaching for a dictionary If money is the root of all evil, it must be imaginary [Venn diagram] [[People I have shot] [The sheriff]] [The deputy] "Get real" [says PI] "Be rational" [says the square root of -1] 1. Make a list of the top 10 ways to amuse a geek. 10. Use binary. Over 90% of people have an above average number of legs GE[squared]K f(x) went into a bar. "Sorry", said the bartender. We don't cater to functions. My parents went to a planet without bilateral symmetry, and all they got me was this lousy F-shirt The glass, being topologically equivalent to a finite flat sheet, can be neither 'full' nor 'empty': it may or may not have some beer balanced on it. The volume of a pizza of thickness 'a' and radius 'z' is given by pi*z*z*a My parents went to a planet without bilateral symmetry, and all I got was this lousy F-shirt Christmas = Halloween Dec 25 = Oct 31 I am an English major. You do the math. I feel like I'm trapped in a Klein bottle-- I must have woken up on the wrong side of the Moebius strip The Dark Side has cookies, the Nerd Side has pi Dear Algebra, Stop asking us to find your X. They're not coming back. We don't know Y, either. Statistically speaking, only one dwarf in seven is Happy Divide by cucumber error, please reinstall universe and reboot If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?

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Alcohol and calculus don't mix NEVER DRINK AND DERIVE! Support the Math Illiteracy Tax - Buy Lottery Tickets When cryptography is outlawed, 7c%K@mp8T=;Rfs9bVhi*5xFwW/Q[uY Calculus: The agony and dx/dt

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If God had wanted us to use metric, he would have given us ten fingers

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