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Category (COMPUTERS: Email, social media, the web, and usenet)


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   Are 'father', 'son', and 'holy ghost' all aliases for 'God', or does it read mail in its separate entities?
   Back in my day, we didn't have any of these fancy disclaimers.  We blamed our employers for our opinions, and they got sued for silly little provocations, and they would fire us, and we would be sleeping out in the cold and hungry, and we LIKED it that way
   Backups?  We don't need no steenkin' ba*a%^q%% NO CARRIER
   Battle not with monsters lest you become a monster.....Nietzsche predicted Usenet
   "Check out my home page", said the spider to the fly
   Cyberslut
   Email: when it absolutely, positively has to get lost at the speed of light
   An error?  Impossible--my modem is error correcting
   Feeling smug about someone else's opinions is the very lifeblood of the net
   !GO HOM-9
   Go not to Usenet for counsel, for it will say both no, and yes, and no, and yes....
   "Hey Rocky!  Watch me pull some intelligence out of the internet!"  "But that trick never works."  "This time for sure."
   A host is a host from coast to coast, and no one will talk to a host that's close, unless the host (that isn't close) is busy, hung, or dead
   How many SysAdmins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  None.  They deny privileges to everyone with access to that room.
   How many usenetters does it take to change a lightbulb?  Read the FAQ
   I am a BBS addict. If you are a decent person you will not show me your dialing directory.
   I finally got back on the net.  Now I will never get anything done.
   If you want a picture of the future of the internet, imagine a foot stuck in a human mouth--forever
   If you want information from the net, don't ask questions--post errors
   If you're working on your dissertation and you're reading Usenet, add six months to your graduation date
   I'm a mutated .sig virus. Copy me into your .sig or risk instant death.
   Imminent Death of the Net delayed. GIF's at 12.
   Imminent death of the Net predicted--GIFs at 11
   Information Highway Roadkill
   Information Superhighway?  Looks more like a Supercollider to me
   The internet is NOT cool! Go away!
   Internet is so huge and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life
   Just another possum on the information superhighway
   My .sig can't come out today.  It has a virus.
   The net is like real life, only much, much faster
   Network management is like nailing jello to a wall
   Nobody died and made you root@everywhere
   Nothing left to do but :-), :-), :-)
   Playing in traffic on the information superhighway
   Put your modem where your mouth is
   Reading the net is like trying to drink from a firehose.  Posting to the net is like shouting at people as they go past on a roller coaster.  Archiving the net is like washing toilet paper.
   Rx: Netscape--to be used 16 hours daily and as needed to prevent sleep
   The street finds its own uses for technology; the net finds its own uses for garbage
   Strong typing is for people with weak minds
   Stuck on the on-ramp to the information superhighway
   Thus emailed Zarathustra
   Usenet: If it didn't exist, nobody in their right mind would invent it
   Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read
   Usenet is not a right.  It's a right, a left, and an uppercut to the jaw.
   Usenet is not a right.  Usenet is a right, a left, a jab, and sharp uppercut to the jaw.  The postman hits!  You have new mail.
   Usenet is a way of being annoyed by people you otherwise never would have met
   Usenet is like a philosophical particle accelerator which creates opinions of such energy and instability that they could not exist in nature
   Usenet: It's not an obsession, it's just something I have to do ALL the time
   Usenet: Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally
   Wasting hundreds if not thousands of dollars every time I post
   The Web is the world's greatest library--with all the books on the floor
   The Web isn't better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble
   What we have here is a failure to communi#}X@ NO CARRIER
   When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that fire departments generally use water
   Will read news for food
   You know you've been on the internet too long when you've got to turn your head sideways to express emotion
   :-)
   The first amendment is meaningless without the freedom to not discuss the second
   I wish killfiles worked in real life
   Usenet is an opiate.  IRC is crack.
   The Web is the world's greatest library, but all the books are on the floor, and some of them are burning
   I am the very model of a modern rassefarian, My politics are complex and apparently contrarian, I quote the laws of kashrut even when they're non-contextual, and rattle off the names of the eukaryotes asexual   
   It isn't called the web of a million lies for nothing
   A:Because it loses context.  Q: Why is top-posting bad?  
   The email of the species is deadlier than the mail  
   I'm blogging this
   LiveJournal....because too much information is never enough
   LiveJournal--because you can't masturbate ALL the time
   There's no place like ~
   There's no place like 127.0.0.1  
   yip yip yip yip yap yap yip  *BANG* NO TERRIER
   If you friend me, do I not read?   
   THE INTERNET: Nobody knows if you're a dog. Everybody knows if you're a jackass.
   must.....check...email....
   Craigslist... where hoarders meet shopaholics
   Epic Fail
   Made of win
   The internet isn't going to surf itself, you know  
   Death is Nature's way of unfriending you
   The bacon narwhals at midnight
   I wish Facebook had a SMITE button

Stickers

   Usenet Cheaper than drugs, just as addictive, but you have to know how to read!
   I have NOT lost my mind. It's backed up on the server. (and the network is down again...)
   CARPE BANDWIDTH!  

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